1. What does F.A.Q. mean?
A. F.A.Q.s or "facks" is a fun, online way to say "facts". So everything in this section is a fact, or a "thing that is indisputably the case". And that's a fact. Or F.A.Q. Jack. Or Jacques.
2. How does one go about becoming a bugologist?
A. Years of study. Hours of hard work. And a made up designation.
3. I've been stung by a scorpion. What do I do?
A. There's nothing you can do at this point. Scorpions are sneaky, lethal death-bringers that stalk the night and warm boots in search of flesh. The one that stung you has in all likelihood summoned its many friends to come and finish you off before they all begin to fill their guts with your fat, rotting carcass. Sorry this is how you're spending your last moments. Hope you enjoy(ed) the blog.
4. What's with the flame motif on your blog?
A. Nice catch. As most people know (except you I guess) bugs come from Hades. That's why they're so slimy and gross. And that's why there is fire on my blog.
5. Is that thing about the scorpions true?
A. No, but I bet it scared the heck out of that guy, right? Good times.
6. Uh, what happened to the fish that used to swim around at the top of this blog?
A. Yeah. About that. There was this mix up and instead of the regular fish flakes someone, I'm not naming names, (rhymes with Azriella) fed them an entire container of rare, never before captured buzzy bugs. You know, those ones that make all the racket up in the trees while you're trying to tell your friends about the fun little pair of strappy heals you picked up on the weekend but nobody can hear you because the bugs are so obnoxiously loud. So yeah. No more fish.
7. Your blog is called Rare Bugs, but the bugs that you write about don't actually seem to be all that rare. Do you understand what the word rare means?
A. Rare, from the Middle Earth term, rārus, which is Hobbit for of frequent occurrence; usual or familiar. Thanks for "the question". Narc.